By poker_boy | 3 Comments
Last updated: Sunday, May 8, 2011 | 81 Views Tags: casinos, couple hours, friday and saturday night, long distance relationship, playing poker, red flag
Keep the poker questions coming! I liked this one:
We might be moving in together for the first time soon. However, I am not happy with his poker interest. I think there are much better, more meaningful ways to be spending so many hours of ones’ life. Plus, if we become more serious, and even marry, I definitely wouldn’t want to share an account with someone who might lose it all in a couple hours. And, it’s sad sitting home alone for hours on the weekend. Who knows if he’s chatting with some woman at his table.
I asked if maybe he could do it once a month, but he said once a week maybe — while he prefers twice a week.
Should I stop worrying so much? Are there ladies I should be wary about at the casinos? Or is this a big red flag?
I also found some interests of her which weren’t my cup of tea but we had a really good time sharing them too!
2 nights a week is not excessive. I know guys who play 12 hours over 6 days a week. If i’m single and free of commitments I can play 5-7 nights a week for several hours. What I suggest is that you explore this interest of his and develop some sort of tolerance towards it, but also encourage some restraints such as ‘i dont mind you setting aside 1 or 2 nights a week to play as long as you set aside some time for me too’ or ‘i would enjoy learning more about poker one night a week instead of you going out’. With a bit more understanding you might be able to suggest restraints such as ‘when you go out only play the £30 tournaments then come home for some horny lovin if you lose’. Be on the relationship team here, you clearly like him and unfortunately poker is part of the package of him. He will resent you if you try and stop him from playing, so your only choice is to educate yourself so that you can very subtly suggest less destructive ideas to him in the hopes that he shifts his emphasis from poker to you. If I had a girlfriend like i’ve just described, i’d be incredibly happy and willing to compromise a bit.
Chatting to women, or the dealers (who are mainly women) is part of the banter and game. The dealers are hard to pull because they can get fired for having a relationship with customers, TRUST ME!! The managers think they might pull an inside job etc. Half the other women in casinos are old and have just been kicked out of the bingo hall. The other half are usually with their bloke because they wouldn’t dare go into such a male dominating place on their own. You have little to worry about, casinos are definately one of the more worse places to try and pull!
Mike Smith
May 8, 2011
Run
Fast
Don’t look back
EVER
May 8, 2011
no it okay to do
May 8, 2011
There’s are massive differences between casual gamblers who play for fun, serious players who play to make money, and problem gamblers. The difference is not as simple as the amount of time spent playing.
I have no idea which group your boyfriend falls into.
Personally, I play 15-30 hours of poker a week. This is obviously a lot, but it never takes precedence over socialising or uni work (I’m a student) and, financially, it doesn’t cost me anything. In fact, I make a small but consistent profit.
If something similar is true for your boyfriend, then you have nothing to worry about.
If he is losing money, but only as much as he can afford to lose, and looks on it as money spent on entertainment, then that is also fine.
The problem is if he is gambling with money which he can not afford to lose. If there is a genuine chance that he might consider gambling with a large portion of money which you rely on to pay bills, or which is not entirely his, then you probably have a problem.
As for women who play poker, there are very few, but there are some. If this is a serious concern for you then I think the problem runs deeper than just being concerned about his gambling habits.
Maybe you should also question just how much of your boyfriend’s life you think you can control.